Whether you are on the path to marriage or not, it's important to understand the definition of marriage in Islam. I read an interesting article today online that put things into perspective (http://www.soundvision.com/Info/marriage/inislam.asp):

Marital love in Islam inculcates the following:

Faith: The love Muslim spouses have for each other is for the sake of Allah that is to gain His pleasure. It is from Allah that we claim our mutual rights (Quran 4:1) and it is to Allah that we are accountable for our behavior as husbands and wives.

It sustains: Love is not to consume but to sustain. Allah expresses His love for us by providing sustenance. To love in Islam is to sustain our loved one physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually, to the best of our ability (to sustain materially is the husbands duty, however if the wife wishes she can also contribute)

Accepts: To love someone is to accept them for who they are. It is selfishness to try and mould someone as we wish them to be. True love does not attempt to crush individuality or control personal differences, but is magnanimous and secure to accommodate differences.

Challenges: Love challenges us to be all we can, it encourages us to tap into our talents and takes pride in our achievements. To enable our loved one to realize their potential is the most rewarding experience.

Merciful: Mercy compels us to love and love compels us to have mercy. In the Islamic context the two are synonymous. The attribute Allah chose to be the supreme for Himself is that He is the most Merciful. This attribute of Rehman (the Merciful) is mentioned 170 times in the Quran, bringing home the significance for believers to be merciful. Mercy in practical application means to have and show compassion and to be charitable.

Forgiving: Love is never too proud to seek forgiveness or too stingy to forgive. It is willing to let go of hurt and letdowns. Forgiveness allows us the opportunity to improve and correct our selves.

Respect: To love is to respect and value the person their contributions and their opinions. Respect does not allow us to take for granted our loved ones or to ignore their input. How we interact with our spouses reflects whether we respect them or not.

Confidentiality: Trust is the most essential ingredient of love. When trust is betrayed and confidentiality compromised, love loses its soul.

Caring: Love fosters a deep fondness that dictates caring and sharing in all that we do. The needs of our loved ones take precedence over our own.

Kindness: The Seerah (biography) of our beloved Prophet is rich with examples of acts of kindness, he showed towards his family and particularly his wives. Even when his patience was tried, he was never unkind in word or deed. To love is to be kind.

Grows: Marital love is not static it grows and flourishes with each day of marital life. It requires work and commitment, and is nourished through faith when we are thankful and appreciative of Allah blessings.

Enhances: Love enhances our image and beautifies our world. It provides emotional security and physical well being.

Selflessness: Love gives unconditionally and protects dutifully.

Truthful: Love is honesty without cruelty and loyalty without compromise.



In conclusion, I leave you with this:

Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings be upon him) has stated that: "men and women are twin halves of each other" (Bukhari).

Thank for reading another of my updates. As a Muslim living in America, I feel the need to educate my fellow Americans more then any about Islam. I realize it is hard for the American people to understand Islam and well as any other form of group, religion, culture or a way of life because those who are from those kinds of civilization, come to America and change their values and traditions out of fear of the American people and Government. This is upsetting because not only do they lose who they really are, but also leaves American people ignorant of such existence. So I am here for ya, I am going to do my part as a Muslimah to educate those of you who want to be educated on Islam. Ok, lets move on to another distorted image about Women in Islam. Other then our covering, which I briefly mentioned in my last update, another subject which received a lot of attention is “Forced marriage.” Yep, I am pretty sure that some (if not most) of you have read stories wherein it is stated that how us trapped caged women are forced to marry men without our consent, in which we live a life of forced sexual intercourse (rape), having to raise 10 or more kids, and on top all, endure a daily regimen of proper spousal training (wife beating). And there are more which I am sure many of you are familiar with so I won’t get into it. Anyway this interpretation of what marriage life is like is in no way resembles the marriage system in Islam. In Islam the woman marries the man of her choice. She may even marry someone that her parents might find for her. The point is that it is the woman who makes the final decision as to whom she will marry.

Once the man and the woman decide that they are interested in one another for marriage, a dowry is decided upon. Yes, you read correctly. The man gives the women dowry. A dowry is not a bride’s price but, it is a gift from the groom to the bride. They agree upon a gift that is affordable by the groom. In the time of the Prophet (PBUH), often things such as livestock and money were given. I remember at my cousins wedding, he gave her a box of jewelry and a house. But it all depends on how much the groom can afford. This is a wise decision in the event that a woman becomes divorced or widowed; she has some financial security to fall back on even if it is for a limited amount of time. Once the man and woman are married, the man is required to clothe, feed, shelter and educate her (or allow her to be educated) in the same manner as he does himself. So you see guys, things aren’t always as they seem. Seriously, I don’t know who, why, and where people come up with these things. But as I said, it’s hard to really understand a group, culture, religion or a way of life if you have no direct contact with. People tend to spread wrongful information and rumors out of entertainment. Why? I don’t know, brings them pleasure I guess. So don’t beat yourself over your blunder for falling for such deception. It happens to many, just make this be a lesson for you to learn and to teach others. And now that I sent you the truth, pass it on. All comments are appreciated, whether you agree or disagree. Oh and if you have any ideas or have a request for me to write about any specific topic, feel free to ask. Take care. Peace and Blessings upon you all!

Hey Everyone, and Welcome. Glad you are here. What should I write about? Aha! Just to clear up a few stereotypes about Women in Islam. First and foremost, we are by no means depressed nor oppressed. We view our Hijab (covering from head to ankle, leaving only hands, feet and face visible in public) as empowering and beautiful. No one but us has made this decision about our covering, this is our life, and we want what’s best for ourselves. We are no mans slave nor are we treated like sex objects. Instead we are treated as precious individuals and praised for what we do. It is the vessel of our bright minds, and our strong character which is praised instead of some form of superficial traits. The subjects of education, Muslim women are urged to get an education because we are in charge of the main education in the upbringing of our children. W e need to be able to teach them, to be wise, and distinguish right from wrong. Personally, I am pursuing a law degree; as well planning on being a stay at home mom should my financial situation permit. I am not paying someone else to raise my kids, neither do I see the job as being a 'Mother' as degrading or low as some men as well as women portray it to be. I believe if any parent was in their right minds, they would choose to spend their entire day with their kids. Raising and teaching them instead of slaving at their job, working for people who can just replace them in a week. I guess this is enough for now. All comments are appreciated. Take care Peace and blessings be upon you all…